Looks Like Nothing's Gonna Change In 2013
by DramaHunny101
Summary: Because, seriously, more pick up lines on New Years Eve? "I'll give you a bang in a minute." "Oooh, promise?" "Jade!"


**Disclaimer: If Victorious was mine, I never would have allowed it to be cancelled. Well, maybe to do a spin-off. About Tori and Jade. I'd call it VicJORIous. Seriously.**

* * *

"Yay, you're here!"

"You're cutting off my oxygen!"

"Sorry."

"Damn, Vega, if you didn't want me to live to see 2013, you could of just said something."

"Don't end 2012 on a gankish note, Jadelyn."

"Takes a gank to know a gank."

"Real mature."

"Says you. Don't stick your tongue out at me."

"Stop glaring at me!"

"Make me!"

"_Make me!_"

"..."

"..."

"Did you.. Did you just mock me in the voice I use to mock you?"

"I-"

"Because you know that's pretty much mocking yourself, right?"

"Shut up!"

"Don't tell me to shut up."

"Oh, I see we're back to the _glaring_. Yay."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you. Leave it to the pro's."

"The only thing you're a pro at is being a gank. You're a professional gank!"

"Quit calling me a gank!"

"From now on, you shall be known as Professor Gank!"

"_**No**_, no I shall not."

"So I have dubbed it, so it shall be!"

"Quit hanging around Robbie!"

"Damn, Professor Gank, this anger of yours, you must learn to control it."

"For the love of- What are we even fighting about?"

"You mean you can't remember?! Shows how important this relationship is to you!"

"You can't remember either, can you?"

"I honestly have no clue."

"Why does this always happen to us?"

"I honestly have no clue about that either. Anyway, happy New Years Eve, Jadey!"

"We've talked about you calling me that!"

"Just not in public? That's what I got out of that 'conversation'."

"Fine. We'll go with that."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Don't you have something to say to me?"

"Uhhmmm.. I love you?"

"_No_, well you better, but I wished you 'happy New Years'."

"So?"

"_**Soo**_, the polite thing would be for you to say it back."

"You know I'm not polite. No,_** no**_, not the pout!"

"..."

"It's not going to work this time!"

"..."

"I mean it!"

"..."

"Gah, okay! You win! Happy New Years."

"Ha, you can never resist the power of the pout."

"Go back to pouting. I'd prefer that than your smirking."

"Well!"

"_Well_!"

"I don't talk like that!"

"Ha."

"Do we have to go through this every time we're together?"

"It's like our thing."

"Speaking of 'our thing', I'm guessing you have something you wanna do tonight."

"There are quite a few things I'd like to d-"

"I meant the pick up lines! So dirty!"

"Oh yeah, admit it, you like them."

"Like what, the dirtiness?"

"No, well that too, but the pick up lines."

"Ah! Blasphemy! I do not!"

"... _Blasphemy_?"

"I just knew that you'd have some, you always do."

".. Did you seriously just say blasphemy?"

"Yes. What of it?"

"Oh. Nothing. Nothing."

"Ahuh, smart choice."

"So the pick up lines.."

"What about them?"

"Wanna hear them?"

"_Sigh_. I guess."

"Most people just sigh, instead of saying it."

"On with the lines!"

"Sheesh, bossy. There aren't many anyway. Wanna ring in the new year with a bang? That's not the first pickup line. I'm just asking."

"I'll give you a bang in a minute."

"Oooh, promise?"

"Jade!"

"You do realise you're about as scary as a ladybird, right? Not even your average ladybird, a ladybird floating through a meadow on a flower petal."

"I didn't know you were capable of such happy thoughts. I'm, a little in awe right now, to be honest."

"Yeah, yeah, say anything to anyone, and-"

"And what? We'll play spank the brunette again?"

"I knew you liked playing that!"

"I can't confirm, nor deny that."

"I never would've thought you had a kinky side. Damn, I've been a great influence on you."

"And there goes the ego, inflating, taking up the whole room, surely going to suffocate us all."

"You mean the two of us?"

"Yes."

"Moving on. Have you seen baby New Year? That's what I call my penis. Tori! What are you doing?"

"Trying to prove to you that you don't have a 'baby New Year'."

"Whatever, just get your hand out of my pants."

"You've never complained before."

"Yeah, well there's a time and a place for such actions; the time being later, and the place being your bedroom."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay. Continue."

"So, do you have a New Year's resolution, because I'm looking at mine right now."

"Thhhh."

"You could just say next instead of spraying spit everywhere."

"_**Tthhhhhhhh**_!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, I went there."

"You suck."

"But not for free."

"..."

"Wait..."

"Ha, ha, hahahahaha-"

"Stop laughing at me!"

"I just can't believe you just said that. Oh my God, that was great."

"Just... Hurry up, next line.."

"Can I be your first mistake of the New Year?"

"How about my first mistake of the New Year, _and_ my last mistake of this year?"

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Quick, then, finish so we can get started."

"I can think of a better place to pour this champagne."

"Uhh, I don't think it should go there."

"Why not?"

"Because-"

"Nevermind. We're trying to finish this chiz quickly, there's no time for a long, drawn-out explanation from you."

"I'd be offended, but that's a good point."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're hotter than the globe is slowly becoming?"

"Many people."

"I don't see why you're always trying to bring out my jealous side."

"Every side's your jealous side."

"Are you saying that's a bad thing?"

"Hell no. It's so hot how possessive you can be."

"Good. It's good that we agree."

"Great, even."

"More like amazing."

"Possibly even spectacula-"

"Why are you two staring at each other with sex eyes?"

"Trina, get out of here!" "Noone likes you!"

"There's no need for rudeness!"

"GO."

"Fine!"

"Your sister is so-"

"I know."

"Everyone knows."

"I know that, too."

"I've heard it's bad luck not to kiss someone at midnight."

"We'll have to be sure to do that then."

"So what's the most adventurous thing you did in 2012?"

"You."

"If you want me to finish, I suggest not trying to get me to jump you."

"Fiiiinnnnee. Continue."

"Thank you. Do you think you had enough amazing sex in '12?"

"God, yes."

"_Torriiii_."

"I'm just being truthful!"

"I'm just glad to be celebrating a new year with more marriage equality in America. Legalize love, amirite?"

"You're damn right!"

"I forgot how enthusiastic you get about marriage equality."

"What? It's great! It means people like us can get married!"

"..."

"That wasn't supposed to sound like-"

"I know."

"Good."

"Extremely. A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other."

"Haha, I get it."

"You see what I did there?"

"I see what you did there."

"My New Year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey."

"My girlfriend, the alcoholic."

"Can't blame me, with people like your sister hanging around."

"Touche. But I have a better idea for what your New Years resolution should be."

"Do tell."

"No more pick up lines. Or cut down on the coffee."

"Hell no. What would Starbucks do without their most loyal customer?"

"That's what I'm saying.."

"New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper."

"Dude."

"What?"

"You just, like, insulted Ke$ha."

"Oh no, how ever will I live with myself?"

"I dunno, it'll be pretty hard with that kind of guilt looming over your head."

"I'll remember 2012 like it was yesterday."

"Ha."

"I want to get so drunk that if vampires bit my neck they'd get a Bloody Mary."

"Back to the alcoholism."

"Damn right."

"Now I've got a joke for you."

"Go on.."

"What's the difference between you and eggs?"

"..."

"Eggs get laid and you don't!"

"We'll just see about that, wont we?"

* * *

**A/N:** **Le done. Sorry if it sucks. I'm tired. But Jori's worth it. I'd sell my soul for Jori. Y'know, if I still owned it. My soul, not Jori. But what I'd give to own that- anyway. I could seriously argue with myself all night. Or what's left of it. By the by, there's fuck all New Years pick up lines. But I tried! It's such a mind fuck, sitting here, thinking about how it's 2013. Where does the time go? **

**Review if you love Jori! If you don't review, well, I don't even want to talk to you. Shame on your existance! Not loving Jori! D; **


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